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OUR OUTSTANDING HUMOR

 

-What does a dolphin say when he's confused? Can you please be more pacific?

-My Girlfriend was convinced that there was a ghost in our apartment. She spent hours trying to get rid of it, burning sage, chanting even cleaning. But it turned out the "ghost" was just a piece of lint on her glasses. I'm thinking of moving the lint to our bed tonight for some more spooky fun.

-A mushroom walks into a bar the bartender says no get out! the mushroom leaves and thinks I don't understand I'm a fungi.

-If my son becomes a pasture, do I call him father or son?

-Why did the melon jump into the lake, it wanted to be a water-melon!

-My boss was honest with me today. He pulled up to work with his sweet new car this morning and I complimented him on it. He replied, "Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year."

-What did the fish say when he saw a wall? damn!

-A guy said to God, "God, is it true that to you a billion years is like a second?"
God said yes.
The guy said, "God, is it true that to you a billion dollars is like a penny?"
God said yes.
The guy said, "God, can I have a penny?"
God said, "Sure, just a second."

 Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.